Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
