Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
