I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize