im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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