my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish i was in the wii world.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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