69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
