dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
