17 year olds will be the death of me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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