stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize