You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
