The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
