Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
