you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
