I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
