I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
