I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
