Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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