walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
