If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just found puke in my bra..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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