it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize