We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
