We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
