Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My balls are so social today.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
