just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
