get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
All the doctor said was why
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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