YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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