i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
