OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
