I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
