Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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