What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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