Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
