I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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