Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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