I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
