So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
