i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
