Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
