So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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