i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
