you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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