did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We need to get me chipped asap
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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