we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize