Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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