no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
