Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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