Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize