Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
