i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
