I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
