I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
