the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
