The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
