I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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