We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
