Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
do nipples grow back?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
