I would go down on you faster than GM stock
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
