her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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