I CAN MOONWALK!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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