Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
