i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
