next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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