We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You dont lie about slip and slides
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
