you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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