You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize