she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
